


"Disaster" or "The Generation of Miracles bakes a cake"

by Resiviech



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-04 01:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2905019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resiviech/pseuds/Resiviech
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akashi asks his former teammates to bake a cake for him, but no one has a clue. Chaos ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Disaster" or "The Generation of Miracles bakes a cake"

**Author's Note:**

> So this fic is pretty pointless. I promised my girlfriend to write her a fic about the GoM fucking up a cake, so I wrote this in about an hour.  
> Pure crack.  
> I mean seriously... Akashi would probably never leave these morons alone in his kitchen xD

“So, why did you call me here, Akashi?” Midorima pushed up his glasses as he glanced down at his former captain. He had received a text from him earlier this morning, urging him to come to his house as quickly as possible. Now that he was here, Midorima still had no clue what the reason for this was.  
The redhead's expression didn't change as he reached in his pocket to retrieve a folded piece of paper. “I want you to do this for me. I've messaged the others as well, but they haven't responded yet.”  
Midorima wordlessly eyed the piece of paper before he slowly started reading over it. After a while he looked up, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “I don't understand. You want me... or rather us to what? Bake?” Akashi's smile was unreadable, a rather unpleasant trait of his, in the opinion of the taller boy.  
“Exactly, Shintaro. I have business today, so it is impossible for me to do it myself.” He paused, looking up into Midorima's eyes, before he continued. “I'd be very thankful, if you helped me.”  
Helped. That really was strange. Pushing up his glasses once more, Midorima stayed silent for a moment, before he finally nodded. He really wasn't the right person to help with cooking, or baking in this case, but surely the others wouldn't turn up too late.  
“Fine. I'll do it.”  
“Great. Just let the others in, when they arrive.” With these words Akashi left, leaving Midorima behind in his kitchen.

All right. Weighing the flour and sugar wasn't too difficult. Honestly, not even the worst cook, not that Midorima was referring to himself, could screw that up, right?  
After pushing up his glasses, the green haired boy glanced at his taped fingers. Damn it, he'd have to tape them again afterwards. They were already dirty. But that could wait.  
First he had to add the eggs. Midorima blinked, staring at the package on the counter. Wait. How the hell do people even add eggs to dough without getting the shells in? He sighed, already regretting that he agreed to this. Honestly, where the hell were the others anyway, leaving him alone like this?  
But there was nothing he could do now. The thought of defying Akashi's request, though in his case it was more like an order, was rather unpleasant. Even now that they were no longer teammates.  
Well, there was no point in staring at the eggs. They won't tell him how to properly crack them open anytime soon. And honestly, it couldn't be that hard.  
Without hesitation Midorima took the first one, cracking it open on the side of the bowl. He cursed as he saw parts of the shell falling into the bowl on the one side, while some of the egg white was flowing onto the counter. He quickly threw the remaining shell away, before he grabbed a spoon with which he desperately tried to remove the shell from the bowl. But instead of getting it out, Midorima accidentally mixed it with the flour.  
After a while he gave up, hoping that no one would notice the small pieces of shell in the finished cake. Instead he continued to crack the two remaining eggs open, ignoring that he managed to add even more pieces of shell to the dough.  
When he was finally finished Midorima let out a huff of air in annoyance before he washed his hands.  
Adding the rest of the ingredients wasn't too hard, however when he reached the point “wine” he was confused. What the hell did Akashi mean with “add some red wine”? How much was some? Midorima honestly had no clue and after thinking it through for a couple of minutes, he finally added half the bottle. Better more than less, right?  
Starting the mixer was another battle entirely. Midorima had to admit that starting on the highest stage probably wasn't his best idea, since he managed to get dough all over himself. After he turned it down a little it worked much better though.  
He closed his eyes as he waited, leaning back against the counter. Sometimes he really hated Akashi. This was going to end in a disaster.  
Midorima was startled by the sudden ringing of the doorbell. He pushed himself upright and walked over to open it. The shooting guard was hoping for some proper help and rolled his eyes when he met Murasakibara's gaze. Well, better than no one, he supposed.  
“Ah, Midochin, where is Akachin?” The taller boy looked around, trying to find their former captain. “Akashi is not here. He asked us to bake a cake for him.” Midorima stepped to the side to let Murasakibara in. The center entered the house. He had a huge bag of snacks in one hand while he was shoving them in his mouth with the other.  
“I have already finished the dough, but you can help me cleaning”, Midorima continued talking as he closed the door and walked back into the kitchen. Murasakibara followed him, still munching on his chocolate bar.  
Without looking back at the taller boy, Midorima made his way to the counter, where still remains of the egg disaster were visible. “You can clean the baking pan and fill the dough in.” Midorima turned around to make sure that Murasakibara ha heard him. Instead he saw the center leaning against the counter as he munched on the dough. “Are you kidding me? You're not supposed to eat it!”  
Murasakibara ripped his gaze away from the bowl and looked at Midorima. “Ah, Midochin, don't be angry. I just wanted to try it.” His voice was low and sounded bored, as always. “But it tastes a little weird. What did you put in there?” Murasakibara brought his hand up to his mouth and removed a piece of egg shell from his mouth. He eyed it confusedly. Midorima huffed as he pushed up his glasses. “It doesn't matter, just put it in the pan.” Murasakibara shrugged but finally did as he was told.  
The shooting guard turned around to continue cleaning the counter once again and the rest of their work passed quietly. When they were both finished, Midorima put the baking pan into the oven.  
It happened in that moment that the doorbell rang once again. Midorima stood up and left Murasakibara behind to open the door.  
“Midorimacchi! I haven't seen you in ages.” Midorima sighed as soon as he heard Kise's cheerful voice. Aomine, who stood beside him, simply greeted him with a raised hand an a casual “Yo.”  
“Murasakibara is in the kitchen. You can join him while I try to clean myself up”, Midorima sighed as he let the two of them in. Kise raised an eyebrow, only now noticing that his former teammate was covered in stains. “What happened, Midorimacchi?”  
“What I would rather know...”, Aomine interrupted, his hands buried in his pockets. “Why did Akashi tell us to come here?”  
“Go to the kitchen and ask Murasakibara”, Midorima simply replied with an annoyed sigh, already making his way to the bathroom.

“So... how long is this supposed to bake?” Kise glanced in the oven, his eyebrows furrowed questioningly. Murasakibara quietly sat on a kitchen chair. Instead of replying, he kept on eating the last of his chocolate bars.  
“Well, how would I know?” Aomine finally replied. He was leaning against the counter, his gaze on Kise. “I'm just asking because it looks a little dark, Aominecchi. And is it just me or does it stink a little?” Kise got up from his crouching position in front of the oven, his nose wrinkled in disgust.  
“Id say...” Aomine paused, thinking over it for a second. Honestly, how would he know? Didn't Midorima do all the baking so far? Really, he should tell them. But no, the moron hasn't returned from the bathroom in at least an hour. What was he doing, taking a shower? Putting on some make-up? The thought amused Aomine, but he had to concentrate on the problem at hand.  
“Just let it bake. I mean, it's a cake, right? Cakes have to bake, otherwise they're soft and disgusting.”  
Kise thought his explanation through and finally shrugged. “Seems fine to me. But we should open a window. The smell is really awful.”

Kise opened the door with a bright grin, which only grew wider when he spotted Kuroko. “Kurokocchi! We were wondering if you would come or not.” “Hello, Kise-kun”, the shorter simply said as he stepped inside the house. He glanced around as he followed Kise into the kitchen. The closer he got to the room, the more his eyebrows furrowed to a small frown. “What happened here?”, he finally asked, his gaze falling on his four former teammates.  
“We're baking a cake, obviously”, Midorima replied, pushing up his glasses.  
“I can... smell that. Don't you think the cake has been in there for long enough?” Kuroko pointed at the smoke coming from the oven. Aomine shrugged in response while the others just looked clueless. “Maybe. I'll get it out.”  
Grabbing two dish towels, Aomine opened the oven. He waited for the smoke to clear away a bit, before he grabbed the baking pan and put it on the counter. The others stood behind him, glancing at their creation.  
“It looks... a bit black, don't you think?”, Kise asked carefully. He looked at Midorima, since he was the one who did most of the work. The shooting guard simply stood there with a frown on his face. “I won't do it again”, he finally said, before he turned around and left the kitchen. He should have seen this coming. His sign was in last place today, after all. And as it was obvious, not even his lucky item could prevent this disaster.  
Kuroko watched him confusedly, before he turned back to the others. “So... why are you burning a cake in Akashi's kitchen?” “Akachin wants us to bake him a cake”, Murasakibara replied, his mouth full with crisps.  
The smallest of them examined the others before he sighed. “All right. I'm calling Kagami-kun.”


End file.
